On being brave, and being thankful.Posted by Catherine Elms on May 31, 2015 Blog posts | Personal | | No comments
My music stuff is very slowly getting off the ground, and I feel so proud of myself and how brave I’ve been with it all. I’ve written more about this in my new zine, but in brief, I’ve been writing and playing music for years, but was always too scared to share it with the world due to terrible stage fright. Even up until last year, when I did finally pluck up the courage to play a few gigs, every single one was a struggle fraught with anxiety and self-doubt. But this year, finally, I made a concerted effort to keep going, do it regularly, and put a lot of effort into my art. Fuck how hard and frightening it is, I need to at least try. It’s been a great time for me, the best time of my life perhaps. With every new performance under my belt, I feel less and less frightened, more confident in my own abilities, more confident that I have a right to be on stage.
The people I’ve encountered in my limited time in the scene have mostly been very supportive and kind, which has fed my confidence immeasurably – thank you all!
To my supporters who come to my gigs just to see me, thank you! Thank you for sitting in grotty pubs drinking cheap beer; thank you for waiting for my set to end even though the night is running late and you have work in the morning; thank you for travelling to the next town along to pop in; thank you for enduring other acts on the bill who aren’t your kind of thing; thank you for your kind words and hugs after my set.
To the local musicians and promoters who support me, thank you! Thank you for recommending me to other musicians/promoters; thank you for telling me that you liked my set; thank you for complimenting my songwriting skills. I never thought many ‘proper’ musicians would enjoy my music. (seriously.)
To my twitter friends and other online supporters – thank you! Thank you for tweeting me congratulations for getting through the night; thank you for tweeting me kind messages about my photos or my setlist; thank you for saying you wish you lived closer so you could watch me; thank you for retweeting my promotional spammy tweets; thank you for recommending my music to others. It really means a lot to me! By the way, I’m organising a live-stream internet gig just for you after the summer is over, it’s going to be immense and you’re all invited!
Finally, to my friends and my wonderful boyfriend who come to every gig – thank you. You are the best friends I’ve ever had.