Prior to lockdown, I hadn’t been making music publicly for a while. I’d been blaming external factors like my busy day job, or my mental health, and for sure these have played a part, but the truth is that I was afraid. Afraid that I was mediocre, too old, too unlikeable, too obscure, afraid that I couldn’t be successful without any pre-existing advantages such as industry experience, wealth, or a magnetic personality. Writing and playing music is my life’s passion – it’s something I’ve been doing since I was old enough to sit at the school piano or hold a guitar – but being a full-time musician is a tough path to take. I have been told on multiple occasions not to bother, that if I can imagine myself doing anything other than music, then I should not do music. Cut back to 2016: after some modest stop-start attempts at developing my music career I burned out, and found myself perpetually exhausted and unhappy. So I stopped. I stopped updating my Facebook page. I stopped pushing myself to write or practice. I focused on a steady office career. And guess what? That didn’t make me happy either.
Lockdown has given me a lot of quiet time to clarify my values and priorities. What lights me up and excites me? What do I always feel a call back to, no matter how many times I try to ignore it? What might I regret in my future? I know I will regret listening to fear, instead of the quiet voice that whispers “what if everything works out?” I’m still afraid – but I’m also starting to feel like that doesn’t need to hold me back anymore. Fear is boring – let’s make some art, be bold, leap and hope that the net will appear. So, this is my convoluted way of announcing that there’s new music coming this year. I’m planning a special birthday livestream at the end of September, where there’ll be lots of new music to share with you, and before the end of the year I’ll be recording and putting out some new music! If you’d like to join me on the next phase of my journey, I’m restarting my mailing list – click here to join.