Fatigue, and occasional happiness.Posted by blatantblithe on September 30, 2012 Blog posts | Personal | | 5 comments
Where does the time go? I can’t believe Christmas is only 12 weeks away.
The last 2 months have been strange – I’ve had the occasional burst of happiness, perhaps one day where something good will happen, with long periods of drudgery, exhaustion, and inactivity in between. I’ve had to put Spill the Zines on an impromptu hiatus because I just haven’t had the time to update it, and unfortunately I can’t find anyone who wants to help out, so I’m struggling with running the whole thing at the moment. I’ve been trying to find the time to put together ‘Pandora Press’ #4 for about 6 weeks, and only today have I finally finished it. It’s not even a big or a difficult job, but it just took ages for me to find the energy to sit down and DO IT. I’ve had to take breaks from the Artist’s Way program I’m doing because I keep putting off my morning pages and my writing exercises. I feel I’d be cheating if I didn’t adhere to the rules properly, so I’ve had to keep redoing weeks instead of moving on to the next week. I’ve only read one book this month. I haven’t written any new lyrics for weeks. I’m averaging one bass practice per week. One! I should be playing every day!
I’m trying to remind myself that full-time work IS tiring, and that it’s okay to be unproductive during the hours outside of my job. I still feel pretty guilty about how little I’ve achieved recently… though I suppose it depends on how you’re measuring ‘achievements’.
Hm. I feel as if I’ve written this before.
So, the best thing that’s happened to me for ages was UK Feminista Summer School 2 weeks ago. Caitlin and I ran a workshop on ‘How To Set Up and Run a Successful Feminist Group’ at Summer School, I was so proud.
It was something that came together at the last minute, and we were woefully unprepared (mostly due to both of us being so busy with our full-time jobs). It could’ve been better, but I think we did remarkably well considering the circumstances. I’m very proud of Caitlin and I. When I attended Summer School for the first time last year, I never would’ve thought that I would be leading my own workshop a year later! Of all the wonderful things that have happened this year, this would have to be in the top 5; my confidence has increased tremendously thanks to this.
My next big event is feminist club night REVOLT in Coventry on 13 October. It looks like a very exciting night, with riot grrrl music, spoken word acts, and zine stalls. I’m doing a zine reading (probably from HIMH #7), and have a stall there. Come along and have a drink with me. RSVP here.
In other news, I bought a car last week! It’s a beauty.
I desperately needed a car due to the poor public transport in my area – my office is 25 minutes away from my home, but the public transport is such that I have to catch 2 separate buses, which usually takes 2 hours. I umm’d and ahh’d for MONTHS about what car to get though. I eventually decided on a brand new car – even though it’s much more expensive than a second-hand car, I was sick of being so stingy with myself and having so many forbidden joys. So I did something a bit reckless for the first time in my life and bought myself something extravagant that I really wanted. I’m delighted with my decision. It runs like a dream, and I feel so happy to have given myself such a lovely gift. I’ll save loads of time now that I don’t have to wait around for public transport, so hopefully my productivity levels should pick up. I’m also going to make more of an effort to get some exercise in; that should help my fatigue a little.